Showing not Telling: Infodumps

At one point or another, you have to explain some aspects of your book. Even if the character knows exactly what’s going on, the reader might not. Put simply, an infodump is a large chunk of necessary information that bores the reader to death. I don’t know about you, but when I come across blocky paragraphs describing the scenery, my eyes tend to skim.
So how do we present crucial information by showing instead of telling?

Dialogue
One of the best ways to present facts is through characters talking to each other. But even this can be botched if the dialogue if nothing more than an infodump with quotations. Let’s compare;

Infodump
The alchemist selected a jar, filled to the brim with mercury. Mercury is a silver metal with a high density. It’s a liquid at room temperature, but exists in the solid cinnabar. Cinnabar is a powdery, red mineral that’s extremely poisonous when inhaled. Mercury was once thought to cause longevity. It is toxic and has been known to cause insanity. It was this material that the alchemist chose to work with.

Infodump with Quotations
The alchemist selected a jar, filled to the brim with mercury. He turned to his apprentice and explained, “This is mercury. Mercury is a silver metal with a high density. It’s a liquid at room temperature, but exists in the solid cinnabar. Cinnabar is a powdery, red mineral that’s extremely poisonous when inhaled. It is toxic and has been known to cause insanity.”

Face it; the second’s not much better. If you choose to do dialogue, make it a conversation;

Conversation
The alchemist selected a jar, filled to the brim with a silvery liquid. The apprentice craned his neck to see. “What’s that?”
The alchemist grunted and held the jar out for the apprentice’s inspection. “This, boy, is mercury.”
“And, uh, what exactly is it for?”
“Some believe it has the power to make you immortal.”
The apprentice’s eyes widened.
“Of course,” snapped the alchemist. “That’s utter rubbish. Far too many emperors have died because of that supposition. Everlasting life indeed. Mercury will kill you, boy. If it doesn’t drive you insane first.”
The apprentice looked warily as the sloshing metal. “Right. Well then, is there anything else we can use for the recipe…a substitute maybe?”
The alchemist laughed. “Closest thing you’ll get is cinnabar. But that’s got mercury in it anyway. Highly toxic. Take a whiff of that stuff and you’re a goner."

Thoughts
This only works if you’re using first person or third person omniscience POV. A character’s thoughts can be a powerful tool.

Before:
The day was bitterly cold. A crisp wind blew garbage across the street. Everyone was inside, enjoying the warmth of a fire. The entire sky was coated in white snow-clouds and it was only a matter of time before a blizzard hit. Even the queen’s palace was suffering from the icy weather, with servants scraping away at the frost-coated windows so the queen could enjoy looking outside.

After:
I marched down the slushy street, my woolen cloak wrapped tightly against the crisp winter wind. I was the only one outside. Every other sane person was indoors, tucked in a quilt by a blazing fire. But not me, I had a job to do. I groaned inwardly and kicked at a pile of frozen garbage. Blast this weather. I glanced up at the leaden sky blanketed with snow clouds. We’d have a blizzard before the month was out, for sure.
Another gust of wind sent me hurrying down the road again. I passed the queen’s palace and snickered at the poor, frozen guard on duty. The Queen didn’t much care about other people’s discomfort, evident by the army of servants scraping frost off the palace’s two-hundred-and-ten windows. Poor suckers. What was even the point of it? So that the queen could look outside and see the empty street?

Actions
The way characters behave can strengthen both Dialogue and Thoughts, and make a strong support on its own.

The alchemist selected a jar, filled to the brim with a silvery liquid. The apprentice craned his neck to see. [This reveals that the apprentice is curious and new to the alchemy experience] “What’s that?”
The alchemist grunted [Not the friendliest guy] and held the jar out for the apprentice’s inspection. “This, boy, is mercury.”
“And, uh, what exactly is it for?”
“Some believe it has the power to make you immortal.”
The apprentice’s eyes widened. [He’s naïve to believe such a myth]
“Of course,” snapped the alchemist. “That’s utter rubbish. Far too many emperors have died because of that supposition. Everlasting life indeed. Mercury will kill you, boy. If it doesn’t drive you insane first.”
The apprentice looked warily as the sloshing metal. [Now he’s nervous] “Right. Well then, is there anything else we can use for the recipe…a substitute maybe?”
The alchemist laughed. [He’s got a strange sense of humor] “Closest thing you’ll get is cinnabar. But that’s got mercury in it anyway. Highly toxic. Take a whiff of that stuff and you’re a goner.”

The apprentice’s reactions give us a clear definition of who he is without having to say, “The new apprentice didn’t know anything about alchemy and was incredibly gullible.”

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Graphic Novels and ReMIND

I've heard some people say that graphic novels aren't real books. They're supposedly for "wimpy readers" and "are no better than picture books".

Sure, it's faster to read a graphic novel. But does that make it any less of a story?
What about The Arrival by Shaun Tan? It has no words. Zip. Zero. Rien. Yet it's one of my favorite books.

Alright, Here's how I see it; It is just as hard to create plot for a graphic novel as it is to create plot for, let's say, ...a seven hundred page book.

In fact (and most of you might hate me for this) it can be harder to make a graphic novel. The Drawings alone require serious effort.

Some people would argue this; "But...but, with graphic novels you don't have to worry about showing not telling, or character descriptions, or giving detailed scenery descriptions."

Well, no, but you don't have to worry about drawing the same character every stinkin' page.

Graphic novels, when done right, bring together story and art.

And while we're on the subject, let's talk about Jason.
Jason Brubacker has been working on his graphic novel for four years. He's been posting pages of it every Monday on his blog.
The story is brilliant, the art is breath-taking, and...he's publishing it in March!

Okay, now that we've established that this Jason is a writer just like the rest of us, let's give him our support. To get 2,000 copies of his book, ReMIND, printed, he needs $3,000 more. $6,000 if he wants it done nice, like in the picture.
I'm not saying donate. I'm saying BUY.
For twenty bucks (Free Shipping!) you can get a 135-paged hardbound copy of ReMIND when it comes out. If you're not sure whether you want to actually BUY it, check out his blog, read a few pages, and you'll probably be drawn in like I was.

Made up your mind to support your fellow writer? Good. Then click here to pledge.

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Writing Dialogue: Brackets

Brackets are adverbs that describe how a character said something. They have a tendency to be over-used. Brackets should only be used when the tone is not completely evident.

"I love you," she whispered quietly.

'Quietly' is unnecessary. We already know that she's speaking softly because she 'whispered.'
 Let's take a couple more examples.

"It's a book," she stated.

It's obvious that she's making a statement. We don't need to use 'stated'.

Back in fourth grade, your teacher probably told you that 'said' is boring and you need to replace it.
This isn't true.
The word 'said' blends into the background. This is a good thing. If characters are in the middle of a heated argument, you don't want to break the pace.

"I don't need your help," he hissed.
"Oh, I think you do," she remarked.
"I can take care of it on my own. I don't need you to look after me," he countered.
"Look, I'm coming with you," she snarled. "You be dead within ten minutes by yourself."
"Fine," he conceded. "But don't slow me down."
"I won't," she spat.

While some of these verbs are good, the argument itself is choppy because of all the words.  Brackets themselves should only be used when the verb is contrary to the tone.
"'I hate you,' she said angrily" has an unecessary bracket. However, "'I hate you', she said teasingly" tells us that she doesn't really mean what she's saying.
Let's try the argument again, and add some brackets;

"I don't need your help," he hissed.
"Oh, I think you do," she said.
"I can take care of it on my own. I don't need you to look after me."
"Look, I 'm coming with you," she snarled. "You'll be dead within ten minutes by yourself."
"Fine, but don't slow me down."
"I won't," she said smugly.

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Creating Villains: Part 2

Picture by Wusk.Deviantart.com

Power
What makes the villain such a threat? Do they have an army at their command, magic powers, control of the entire city, or just their skills and wits?

Motivation
Why does the villain take action against the protagonist? For glory, money, fame?
One of the biggest mistakes people make in creating villains is through their motive. Villains don't sit around thinking, "How could I do more evil today?"
Realistically, villains usually don't recognize what they're doing as evil. They will rationalize, tell themselves that they deserve power, or feel that what they're doing is for a greater good.

Differentiating Villains
I tend to have more than one villain per book. Not only is there the main antagonist, but other secondary characters who make life hard for the hero.
With three different personalities to choose from, why don't all the villains end up the same?
I separate their personalities three ways. (Three times is a charm.)

Physique
One way is by determining the villains build.
A lightweight, quick villain will have different methods of fighting/striking fear than a large, powerfully-built one.
The small one will probably use subterfuge rather than brawn.
It's also good to take into note the gender of your villain. A female antagonist tends to use looks and lies to her advantage, whereas most male antagonists are classified by violence.

Quirks
Quirks also help to differentiate characters. It could be anything from a fondness for chess, being clumsy, or superstitious.
The smallest difference helps.

Speech
The way a character speak says a lot about them.
Long words mark their intelligence and upbringing.
Slang signifies that they're less likely to be from a posh family.
Anything from stuttering, whining, lilting, guttural, to deceptively sweet  tells us important character traits.

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Writing Dialects and Accents

According to a book I recently read, if characters have accents, it's confusing to the reader. Using "atrocious" spelling to signify speech only slows the reader down by forcing them to untangle what they are saying. Speech can be implied through adding slang, but never through ungrammatical sentences.

I'm not sure that I agree.

I can think of two very popular series that ignore this "rule"; Harry Potter and Redwall.

I find it easy to make out what Hagrid is saying, even with all his "h"s left off.

And in Redwall, I found the "mole speech" endearing rather than entangling.

I'm not implying that the reason for their popularity is because they use accents. It's arguable that they're popular in spite of it.

For my own stories, I rarely change the spelling. But I have a tendency to use "gonna", "yeah", and replace some character's "h"s with apostrophes.

But for the most part I feel that if that's how they say it, then that's the way you spell it.

Accents provide diversity in speech. Having all your characters sound the same is usually dull. Accents can signify different nationalities. Rather than going to the trouble of saying that "he had a German accent" you can show us by replacing the " w" with a "v".

What do you think? Should dialect be written, or is should grammar be your main concern?

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Dialogue Part 2

What do you, as readers, prefer in a book; Long winded descriptions of the scenery, of every detail or Dialogue.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
(If you chose scenery you are the most patient reader around.)

Dialogue can not only convey messages about the character's relationships with each other, their background (i.e. slang). Dialogue can also tell the reader about the scenery. For example;

"...five steps, six steps. Six steps long."
"What is?"
"This cell."
"Quit splashing around in the water and sit down."
"Sit down where? Everywhere is wet."
"Well standing by that barred window won't help your health much either."

We can already see that a) they're in a cell, b)it's wet, c) it's small, and d) it has a barred window.
A little more interesting than
The room was wet and cold. It had a barred window. It was small.

Dialogue can also show things happening;

“Duck!” roared Joseph.
"Thanks.” 
“That arrow almost had your name on it.” 
“Speaking of arrows, hand me another; I’m out,” said Marcus. 
“Er, so am I.” 
“Move your backsides soldiers!” roared the captain. “Retreat! RETREAT!”

Instead of:

When Joseph told Marcus to duck, he didn't argue. He was glad he had listened because an arrow missed him. When he asked for more arrows he was dismayed to learn that there wasn't any more. The captain called a retreat.

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Dialogue Part 1

I recently learned a trick while writing dialogue. Have your characters be busy while they talk. (i.e. kneading dough, fixing a car, dancing)
That way, if you need  a  pause you can write more then 'she didn't answer;she was angry.' and say ' she remained silent, glowering at the dough on the counter, her hands punching it as if it was his face.'

This tip does not apply for every conversation. During the quick conversations you can add fidgets, like brushing their hair away from their eyes.

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